His father’s values guided him well beyond his youth.
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As I listened to Luther Vandross’ song “Dance With My Father Again” over and over again, I went down memory lane to reminisce about the great value my dad taught me as a child. And fortunately for me, he is still alive.
Many people believe that children are closer to their mother than their father. I wouldn’t dispute this claim. But I have discovered the truth behind this claim, and it is simply “Time.”
During my childhood days, I spent lots of my time with my daddy, not because I hated being around my mum nor was I the only child. But the truth is that I adore him and wanted to be around him.
After school work, I visited my father’s supermarket every evening to help him on sales, product placing, re-packaging, and packing. But during short and long term holidays, I worked full-time in the supermarket.
It was during this aforementioned period that I developed a great bond with my father to the amazement of my siblings, and most especially my mother. They were not comfortable discussing their dissatisfaction about our father in my presence, because they feel I would gossip it to dad.
As I drew closer to my father, I never knew I was tapping from his world of experience which he has gathered all through the years on a platter of gold. Here are some of the values.
Dedication and Determination
My dad was so dedicated in the running of his supermarket. Most times, he resumes before his employees. He wakes me up every 6:00 a.m. to get ready for the day’s business during my holidays.
It was a big challenge to me then because I woke up to see my siblings enjoying their sleep while I staggered to the restroom to brush my teeth and take my bath.
At the supermarket, my dad was always working. He was never tired of attending to customers and monitoring his staff. He was principled and worked with time, a characteristic that has sustained his business.
As I gained admission into the university, the intimate relationship I had with my dad began to wane simply because of the distance and poor communication system. Telephone was then a luxury and the post office was not efficient in sending and delivering mails.
Despite the distance between me and my dad, his values were so close to my heart. And I didn’t waste time applying them.
We entered the university as teenagers, and we were expected to behave like one. Some of my course-mates were so marveled about the new found freedom and independence for parental guidance.
As such, they started skipping lectures, attending parties, engaging more on extra-curriculum activities and wooing the female folks. For me, I tapped into my dad’s value by being dedicated to my studies.
I never skipped lectures. I also made sure I read four hours after lectures and eight hours during revision period (i.e. two weeks before exams commenced).
At the end of my course and research works, guess what! I graduated top of my class with a First Class Honours. Two years after our graduation, one of course-mates engaged me in a discussion.
He puzzled at my composure in school and asked if I had a university degree prior to being his course-mate. I was shocked by his line of questioning.
He told me I was a replica of an 80-year-old man in a 21-year-old body. I pondered on this statement for long before I finally realized that my dad’s value of dedication and determination had propelled my academic achievement.
Human Capacity Development
The love and bond between my dad and I made him do things he wouldn’t ordinarily do. Most times, we ate together in his office. He usually took me to the stadium where we watched amateur matches and the beach where we swam together.
It is during these unforgettable moments that my dad told me about his childhood and adulthood experience which I paid close attention to.
My father told me how he made a name playing football during his elementary school days and how he pursued business as his parents couldn’t afford to further his education. So sad indeed!
On one of our trip to the beach, he shared a touching story that has shaped my life. My dad married my mum when she was just 20 years old.
During this period, my mum’s family refused to give her away for fear of jeopardizing her education. But my dad made a promise to them, that he would provide for her to any level of education she desired.
His promise was shrugged off because most men, during this time, confined their wife’s role to home management. Did my dad keep his promise?
Of course he did. After my mum’s education, she became a lecturer. As a result of the turbulent changing environment of business, dad started experiencing hard times.
Amazingly, my mum took over from where my dad had stopped. Today, my siblings and I are all graduates courtesy of the human capacity development gesture of my dad.
I drew a great value from my dad’s story. In my capacity, I have devoted myself to helping people, especially those who cannot afford to pay their school fees, and encourage others to acquire skills in technical institutions.
I have come to the conclusion that it is not the finance and investment you have in this world that people remember when you are gone. Rather, it is the number of lives you touch when you are alive.
This was made possible by my loving and adorable dad. He is a living legend to me.
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Photo: Getty Images
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The post My Father, the Legend—and the Lessons That I Hold Tight appeared first on The Good Men Project.