The most important thing you can do is act. Think, plan, and learn mean nothing if nothing is done with it.
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Growing up in a society that embraced the masculine culture of smoking, drinking, and womanizing while having Christianity shoved down my throat, made the world a confusing place. I was left to independently discover what was important. At thirty-six years of age, I am still testing the waters for what works and what doesn’t.
Early on I looked to mythology for answers on what makes a man. With thousands of cultures to look to, there were plenty to choose from. Picking up a copy of Robert Bly’s Iron John, I did find some answers on what it meant to be a man, and the stages of my life that had been skipped, ignored, or were still had to be looked forward to. In some ways, I stepped by in my life and lived the stages that had been missed in an attempt to capture what had been missing from my life. I grew a beard to show my disconnection from society. I went on hunting and fishing trips with other men to learn what it meant to be a primitive man. Over years of trial and error, I searched for what my talent was only to discover. I was a writer above everything else.
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Learn the basics, learn other styles, master the other styles, create your own style, and in the end forget everything.
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After finding my talent, learning was the next step. What did it take to be a writer? Musashi Miyamoto’s Book of Five Rings is a great account for how to become the best at what you do. Learn the basics, learn other styles, master the other styles, create your own style, and in the end forget everything. Needless to say I’m still in the early stages of this task that is known to take a lifetime to accomplish. Learning about yourself and your chosen skill or profession is something that should never have a finish line in sight. There will be peaks and valleys, but it is the journey you should focus on. Once a man has figured out what that journey is there is a time to clean house and find balance.
You cannot journey through life alone. The old adage of pulling yourself up by your boot straps is complete garbage and should be looked upon as such. With the journey ahead of you in sight, it is time to figure out what fits and what doesn’t. This includes everything, the people you know, hobbies, the books you read, the food you eat. You can’t change everything at once.
Some of the things you kick to the curb will be immediate and obvious. Friends who you will no longer spend time with because of their negative attitude, or how your life is no longer compatible to theirs. Drinking and other social activities might start to affect what you are trying to accomplish. Personally, I set aside the weekend for social interaction and do not work for those two days. This takes care of my guilt, and allows me to relax after five days of 12-16 hour days. For some people, this is the most difficult part of changing your life.
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The point is to know where you currently are at and where you desire to be.
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Planning your path is an important action that let’s you know where you are and what needs to be done next. This takes the form of general paths and minute details of your day.
- What projects do you have going?
- What books are you trying to read?
- Where do you want to be in one, or five years?
These are the questions to ask yourself and figure out how to get there. Things will happen along the way that either move your schedule ahead or far behind. The point is to know where you currently are at and where you desire to be. At home, I have dry erase boards. I write down my tasks for the day and gradually erase the task I have accomplished. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and motivates me to continue on. Plus, if my day doesn’t go as planned, I can move the unfinished items to the next day and push ahead on my agenda.
After all of this, the most important thing one can do, is act.
Think about doing something, planning and learning mean nothing if there is nothing done with it. Sit down and write that book, rebuild that car sitting in the garage, or sign up for those classes at your local university. Part of being a man is acting. Sitting back and daydreaming about what you could do with your life is to be left for boys still trying to figure things out.
Acting shows confidence and purpose, an aspect that is admired by many and gives a person a sense of importance and placement in society. Sure, I write books and some would say I don’t really contribute anything. I would counter with the words of Stan Lee:
“I used to think that my job wasn’t important and that I didn’t contribute anything. I was embarrassed to tell people what I did. Then I realized that I entertained people and that was important to them. They liked it.”
When somebody tries to down play what you want to do, remember who is better known in our society, them or Stan Lee.
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